Here is a list of actual conversations that happened between my housemates and I.
"I'm so broke, duct tape can't fix me."
While discussing what is the best sign to put up at the front door to avoid burglars, the result is:
"WARNING: No one in this house is normal- if you try to rob us they may never find your body. We're Asian, we eat anything."
"For 60k per annum I will willingly wash toilets until it shines bright like a diamond."
A: "I want to nom on something..."
B: "Want some of my fats?"
My housemates, helping me save money on food by killing my appetite since 2010.
A: You evil bastard *in french accent*
B: What?!
A: I mean evil bus... stop?
B: Does that mean I'm free access for everyone?
C: Not everyone. People with cars don't need access to you.
B: So only POOR people want me?!! *runs away crying*
A: I don't feel like fucking anything
B: But something can fuck you
A: Yea life fucks me everyday
"If I don't shave my armpit hair for 5 years when I open my arms there will be 2 black curtains!"
A: Is Perth in the Eastern States?
B: It's called Western Australia for a reason.
I'm so glad we don't have kids.
A: You need to get a girlfriend.
B: Why?!?!
A: You need to get laid.
C: Let me help you. *proceeds to kick B in the crotch*
D: What sort of sex have you been having?!?!!!
A: Thai girls are very scary.
B: Yes tigers are scary they eat people.
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